Saturday, July 21, 2007 / 2:16 AM
sian3...so fuckin sian...haf been in a bad mood the whole day...n gyming didnt help at all...cant stand tis life...wrk...gym...eat...go hm...dun reali get a chance to let myself loose...n i prolly cant go kl cos mi mum is sick...total crap man...Argh!!!!
Sunday, July 15, 2007 / 1:56 AM
sumtimes i wonder wat the hell im doin wit mi life..recently,ive been kinda pissed...frm pretty free at wrk...n suddenly bam!im so loaded wit wrk tt i dun even dare to rest except fr mi breaktime..
n suddenly mi mum gt sick..i mean shes been sick recently..bt its internal..it doesnt reali affect her tt badly..n suddenly aft she jangkit the flu tt the fam gt frm me,n she kept gettin faintin spells n even fainted once..
n suddenly she was due fr op cumin tue..keep havin to restrain miself frm goin out initially n ltr frm goin bck too late..n nw the op will be postponed cos she hafta c the neurologist..gez i gotta restrain miself frm duno hw long..n i reali nid a real break frm wrk..i reali2 nid to relax..
n guys haf been sayin im cold,jual mahal, hostile n all that n they do get pissed at me..otherwise they wanna get into mi pants...bt ive stopped contacting the assholes so good ar..bt fr the ones whos nt...i wonder if im expectin too much..
i noe mi past is makin me wanna protect myself extra hard bt i wonder if its more bad than gd fr me..sum ppl say im ruining myself..tt sumtimes protectin myself to much cn haf a badder effect on me than wat i expected..i kinda agree wit tt..bt hw do i loosen up jz like tt..hw do i learn to be more in ctrl wit mi life n live it the way i wan n i shld..it cant happen with jz a snap of mi fingers..
n i wonder y the guys i like always happens to be fucked up assholes..i may seem the same bt ive grown skeptical of a lot of tinks..n the tink is tt i reali hate tis screwed up tinkin of mine..
